Scenes from the Yankees Front Office

HANK STEINBRENNER: What is this nonsense? Wang getting his foot hurt? The designated hitter rule was part of the Magna Carta in the 13th century - why are pitchers still hitting?

GENE MICHAEL: Good call, Boss!

GEORGE STEINBRENNER: I'm the boss!

GENE MICHAEL: Um... right, sorry, boss.

GEORGE STEINBRENNER: I like pudding!

HANK STEINBRENNER: Listen, Stick - the important thing is that we have Joba Chamberlain starting now, right? I mean, what's he done so far - won like, forty games, right?

GENE MICHAEL: Well, yeah, he's won a game...
HANK STEINBRENNER: And Hughes and Kennedy, they're tearing it up, right?

GENE MICHAEL: How about that new stadium, Boss?

GEORGE STEINBRENNER: I'm the boss!

GENE MICHAEL: Yeah... right.

GEORGE STEINBRENNER: My shoes taste like cupcakes!

JOE GIRARDI: Hey guys, remember what I did to those young Marlins pitchers in '06?

BRIAN CASHMAN: Yeah...?

JOE GIRARDI: Yeah. Uh... nevermind.

HANK STEINBRENNER: What's up with this team, Cash? I mean, Robinson Cano? More like, Robinson... Can't... Play... No......... More.

GENE MICHAEL: Good one, Boss!

GEORGE STEINBRENNER: I'm the boss!

GENE MICHAEL: Erm...

GEORGE STEINBRENNER: I want Famous Ray's!

HANK STEINBRENNER: And Melky Cabrera - more like... Melky Crap-era!

GENE MICHAEL: Zing!

HANK STEINBRENNER: Where's Torre, anyway?

JOE GIRARDI: Uh... I'm the manager now.

HANK STEINBRENNER: And why isn't Joba Chamberlain a starter yet? He's like a combination of Cy Young, Albert Schweitzer, and Dirk Diggler!

JOE GIRARDI: Actually, we do have him starting...

BRIAN CASHMAN: Hey, lay off the new guy.

HANK STEINBRENNER: You're on thin ice, Cash. Remember when I told you that you should trade every player on the 40-man roster for Johan Santana and you didn't and then we ended up in third place? Yeah... you know what I'm talking about.

BRIAN CASHMAN: But-but-

HANK STEINBRENNER: Shuddup. I've got the solution here - a personal letter to the managing partner's office. It says here, "Put Rickey in, Rickey's ready to play."