Tuesday, July 15, 2008

It's All Over (And You Only Half-Realize It)!!

A point-by-point rebuttal to the delusional ramblings of a Yankees fan:

While it's true that the Yankees will contend for the Wild Card with the Rays, the notion that they can "contend" with the Red Sox is like saying Elmo could contend with Wolverine. While Elmo's teaching kids how to love and hug and share or whatever, Wolverine's busy carving them up with his razor-sharp adamantium claws.

Hughes and Kennedy will be too busy running for City Council in Trenton to put on a uniform after labor day.

Papelbon not only eats Mo Rivera's lunch, he eats his breakfast, brunch, dinner, and that piece of pie he left in the fridge he was going to eat as a midnight snack. If Papelbon, armed only with a kilt, was to face off again Rivera, armed with his cut fastball, Jason Giambi's mustache, a bazooka, and a hive full of live bees, Papelbon would take him down faster than Mo could blame it on the rain.

Have a super all-star break!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

elmo? puhleeeeeease! i laughed out loud at that one. and i make it a point to never laugh before noon. you made me break a personal vow. i now consider you, your team, and the whole red sox nation evil.

hehehe. kiddin. i've always thought you guys were evil.

my point: ya'll best get your act together and help us stamp out the evil tampa bay DEVIL ray faction, or YOU may be the ones sittin on your lardy asses in october. 2006 was lonely without ya'll...don't let it happen again.