The Milk Carton All-Stars and Other Musings

full credit to my father for inspiring the theme of the first part of this post

Garelick Farms is releasing a new series of Milk Cartons in search of missing persons - I am reposting that information here:

Julio Lugo
Last Seen: Tampa Bay, 2005

This was pretty much the high-water mark of Lugo's career.
This is what Theo felt justified replicating Renteria's contract to be Boston's leadoff hitter:
6 HRs, 57 RBIs, 39 SB, .295/.362/.403
Where have you gone, Jose Offerman?

Coco Crisp
Last Seen: Cleveland, 2005

I still remember seeing the side-by-side comparisons of Coco Crisp and Johnny Damon - about how Coco had better numbers at age 25 than Johnny did. After Damon's defection ruined Christmas and the Sox got Crisp, this was supposed to be comfort food. A year and a half later, we're still waiting...

J.D. Drew
Last Seen: Los Angeles, 2006

I remember reading something a year ago back about how Ken Griffey, Jr.'s injuries had kept him from being his generation's Mickey Mantle. What the author of this piece failed to realize was that injuries were what kept the Mick from achieving his destiny of hitting 800 HRs. Which means that Junior Griffey absolutely is his generation's Mickey Mantle. I can't really say what destiny J.D. Drew has been prevented from fulfilling due to injuries. Maybe his generation's Dave Winfield? Of course, now that he's ostensibly healthy, what's the excuse?

Signs of life: He did go 3 for 5 with 2 HRs and 7 RBIs while starting against lefty Doug Davis this evening.

Eric Hinske
Last Seen: Toronto, 2002

It's official: Hinske's Sophmore Slump is in its 5th year. He had a fine rookie season - in which he won the Rookie of the Year award (not too shabby for a guy who was once traded straight up for Miguel Cairo) and got a nice extension from the Jays.
Unfortunately, he's turned into a poor man's version of Jeff Conine - his versatility in the field does not make up for his .155/.254/.293 line in 67 PAs.

Wily Mo Pena
Last Seen: Cincinnati, 2004

Following in the tradition of Jose Guillen, Wily Mo was the third and a half Reds Outfielder - the guy guaranteed to get ABs due to the precarious health of Austin Kearns, Adam Dunn, and Junior Griffey.

He was supposed to be the guy who was too good to sit, but he only has 4 HRs in 89 PAs, with a .241/.326/.443 line.

Of course, he is essentially filling the Gape Kapler Memorial 4th outfielder role, and Gabe the Babe never really tore it up.

In 2004, with 310 PAs over 136 games, Kapler hit only 6 HRs with a .272/.311/.390 line - so I won't lambast the decision to trade a 5th starter for a slugger of Pena's potential.

Doug Mirabelli
Last Seen: Boston, 2004

In 192 PAs in '04, Dougie hit 9 HRs with a .281/.368/.525 line.

That's more than a lot of teams can expect from their full-time catchers.

All that, and he can catch the knuckleball, too!

This year? He's a 36-year old backup catcher, and that's exactly what he looks like - in 56 PAs he's mustered 2 HRs and a .208/.250/.340 line, as opposed to say... Kelly Shoppach, who has 2 HRs in 62 PAs, but who has a .352/.453/.556 line.

Why can't the Red Sox develop catcher's like that?

Alternate Milk Carton:

Both Teddy and I seem to return to this theme (it is after all, the theme that got us started) - but let's talk about the Rocket again.

Roger Clemens
Last Seen: Trenton, 2007

So first the Rocket was supposed to make his triumphant return to pinstripes at Fenway Park. Then it was pushed back to the day after the Boston/New York series ended - he would pitch against the White Sox. Now, he's expected to pitch tomorrow against the Pirates.

What's the point? I mean, if the Yankees are going to spend all this money on Clemens, why waste him in a game they would probably win anyway? Are we going to be treated to months of Joe Torre press conferences where he explains he's holding the Rocket out for the next Devil Rays series?

Looking at the schedule, the Rocket's next start will either be on the 14th against the D-Backs of the 15th against the Mets - both very good teams.

The Yankees have the next 3 days off, so it will be interesting to see how Torre plays the rotation - he could have Clemens against the Rockies and Orioles (two easy wins) or against the Giants and A's (an easy win and an actual challenge)

It will be interesting to see if Clemens coasts through a soft schedule, puts up a deceptively good record, and feeds the perception that he's having a huge impact on the team's fortunes - despite the fact that he's winning games that Chase Wright or Kei Igawa could just as easily win.

Fun with rosters

The last time the Yankees won the World Series was 2000 - here are the players still on the roster:

Jorge Posada
Derek Jeter
Roger Clemens (by way of retirement, Houston, retirement, Houston, retirement, Houston, and retirement)
Andy Pettite (by way of Houston)
Mariano Rivera

The last time the Red Sox won the World Series was 2004 - here are the players still on the roster:

Jason Varitek
Doug Mirabelli (by way of San Diego)
David Ortiz
Kevin Youkilis
Manny Ramirez
Curt Schilling
Tim Wakefield
Mike Timlin (by way of the Disabled List)

So that's 8 players for the Red Sox (only 3 years later) and 5 players for the Yankees (7 years later)

I believe it was a Yankee executive who once said that fans are rooting for laundry - that is to say, for the uniforms, not the players.

Both of our teams have had a lot of turnover through trades and free agency this decade - but I'm still a little amazed when I actually see how little of the championship makeup is left of both of those teams.

Don't knock SCAD

A quick response to Teddy's throwaway comment on the player drafted from Savannah College of Art and Design. I don't know how great the Baseball program is there, but I do know that Luis Tiant - El Tiante if you're hip - a borderline Hall of Famer who pitched for both the Sox and the Yankees (229-172, 3.30 ERA, 2,416 Ks) was once the Baseball Coach there. This was the guy who started Game 6 of the 1975 World Series (some guy hit a home run to finish that one) - so I feel like the program must have at least something to offer.

Mounting dread

Abreu-for-Dye - I smell David Justice circa 2000.

Mark Texeira on the trading block - my father has an expression for this, which is "stooge deal". This is where the Yankees take a bunch of my neighbors (I mean this literally, all the players on the Yankees' A-Ball team in Charleston live in the same apartment complex I do) who are never going to make it to the majors and dumping them for a star. What will follow is Rangers' GM Jon Daniels trying to hold a straight face during a press conference in which he attempts to explain how he thinks these young players might benefit the organization, while the players themselves start sending resumes to auto dealerships.

Oh yeah, and if the Indians fall out of the race, they might trade Hafner instead of losing him as a free agent.

Draft

Teddy suggested I might be able to shed some light on the "theme" of the Red Sox draft. All I can come up with is that they're drafting guys who sound like they should be porn stars (Nick Hagadone, Ryan Dent, Brock Huntzinger) or superhero alteregoes (Hunter Morris, Christopher Province, Will Middlebrooks)

I'll give MLB credit for taking a step forward in at least televising part of the draft, but until amateur baseball players get the exposure their football and basketball counterparts do, it's ultimately fruitless.

The development track in the Minor Leagues is such that it's fruitless to even draft according to need (unlike the NFL and the NBA), so teams are really better off taking the best player available irregardless of the big club's needs.

Closing

I haven't been to a Greenville Drive game yet, but I'm happy to report that Josh Papelbon - younger brother of Jon - is 2-3 with 9 saves and a 3.09 ERA.

I'm looking forward to a day when you can expect guys like Clay Buchholz or Jon Lester to go 7 strong innings and the see Papelbon and Papelbon in the 8th and 9th.